My Brag Book

One of my ex’s was rummaging through my stuff {probably looking for valuables to steal, because, let me tell you, I know how to pick ’em} and came across one of my photo albums and started thumbing through it.

Here is the conversation that transpired between us…

“Whoa, there are a lot of famous people in here.”

“Yeah.”

“How did you meet so many famous people?”

“I dunno. I just walk up to famous people and start talking to them.” Then I glance over his shoulder to see who he is referring to. “Ohhh… I met those people while interning for the Detroit Free Press in 2004. I was covering the Republican National Convention for them.” {You can read about that here}

“Who is the most famous person you have ever met?”

“I dunno. I guess it depends who you consider famous.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… in that book it’s probably Larry King. Or Anderson Cooper, he’s really short, look… I think I’m taller than he is. Tim Russert was my favorite. He called me ‘little red’ all week and was so nice! But I also got to attend Wednesday Night Live that week hosted by Dick and Lynn Chaney, and the cast of Saturday Night Live. Lorne Michaels is cool! I actually bumped into him later that week at the Broadway show Wicked and he remembered me and stopped to talk to me before I went to the restroom. Then he said he was sorry for taking up my time… I mean, seriously?! I didn’t even think to beg him for a job… biggest lost opportunity ever… Oh, and I had to interview Laura Bush that week too.”

“Damn, who else have you met?”

I scrunch my forehead and try to remember names.

“Karl Rove, Rudy Giuliani, The Cure. I partied with them until four in the morning… Meg Ryan… Vanilla Ice,” I trailed off lost in thought.

{you can read about my night with The Cure here, and Vanilla Ice and more Meg Ryan here and Karl Rove here}

“How’d you meet Meg Ryan?”

“Flattery. I was eating at The Dutch, or Dutchman, or something like that in New York City and she was sitting behind us. I ask the waiter if that was, and before I could say Meg Ryan, he cut me off and said NO! And that she did NOT want to be bothered and she hated it when people approach her. And since my favorite thing in the world is people telling me I can’t do something, I got up and walked over… I apologized profusely for interrupting her dinner, then immediately followed with, it’s just that my table and I are discussing whether or not you are Meg Ryan and I said, impossible, she’s way too young to be Meg Ryan. That guy {who was clearly her son} is probably her date. She laughed and grabbed my arm, and said that was just the sweetest thing. She looked over to my table and waved, and put her hand over her heart and mouthed ‘thank you.’ Then she introduced me to her son and talked to me about the new exhibit at the Met.”

See… it’s just like the column is US Weekly… Stars… They’re just like us! Well no shit. If you ever run into one it’s just knowing what to say. Or acting like you have absolutely no idea who they are, or actually having no idea who they are, like When I told Roger O’Donnell, keyboardist for The Cure, that it was so cute he dressed up like The Cure to go see The Cure. I really didn’t have a clue. It’s not like they ever show the keyboardist on the big screens when you are at a concert. Now… when the drummer walked in five minutes later, my jaw totally hit the floor.

And of course, the right kind of flattery does get you everywhere. Even partying with rockstars until 4 a.m.

Love Yourself Right Where You Are

I am so far from where I want to be. But if I have learned one thing, it’s this… There really is no time but now.

If I waited to love myself until I was thin enough, looked my ‘best’, was where I wanted to be career wise, I might, and probably will, die before any of that happens. Because I’ll probably never view myself as being at my ‘best’. At least I hope not, because… there’s only one place to go once you reach the top, and it’s not further up.

So this holiday season, when tensions can tend to run high, I’ve decided to give myself a gift. The gift of self-love. The gift of loving myself right where I am,  problems, imperfections and all.

My kids tell me all the time I’m ‘the best mom ever.’ Bless their souls. They have no idea how imperfect I am. I’m choosing to see myself as they do {before they turn into self-righteous teenage assholes} I’m choosing to love myself just as I am. Fat rolls and all. I’m choosing to enjoy life. The good, the bad, and the downright ugly. And I challenge y’all to do the same thing. Quit telling yourself you aren’t good enough.

You are good enough. Right where you are. Celebrate yourself. Celebrate life. Celebrate just being.

There is always something to be grateful for. Like, I can walk. And I have shoes. Someone doesn’t. Some people can’t walk and are confined to wheelchairs, but they aren’t paraplegic. And those that are paraplegic can still speak, and think. And so on and so on.

Someone told me after I quit drinking that alcoholism is like that game ‘whack a mole.’ That once you knock out one problem 10 others pop up in their place, and man, that guy was dead on.

I had this notion that quitting drinking would somehow solve all my problems. Ha! What a joke. All it did was magnify how bad I had screwed up so much in my life. I’m still suffering the consequences and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.

So. Be. It. I have surrendered. Waved my white flag and given my problems {usually on a daily basis} to God. God as I see him. Or her. God as I know him. Or her. Turning your life over doesn’t make your problems go away, but it is freeing.

So forgive yourself. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself.

I didn’t create my problems overnight and they certainly aren’t going to go away overnight. Stay in the present. You can’t change the past and you can’t predict the future. The only time we have is now. Enjoy it. Enjoy the mess. Love the mess. Be kind to yourself and to others. Be humble. Show grace. Be of service to others.

Love yourself. You have my permission, so do it. Do it today. Quit putting it off, there is no telling what tomorrow may bring so give yourself permission to love every flaw, every imperfection, everything that makes you so blissfully uniquely you.

Love. Love. Love. It’s all we got folks. And time isn’t going to stop ticking along anytime soon. Hold your loved ones tight. Tell them what they mean to you. That’s what this upcoming season is all about, not the gifts, although those are nice too. It’s about connecting in this oh-so-crazy world we live in. And it is bat shit crazy. And we are the only ones who can make it better. It starts and ends with love and that means loving yourself first.

Take care, you beautiful humans you. Tis the season.

xoxo

Win It Wednesday’s Rodan + Fields

You know you love your skin care when you realize you are out of something and you freak out… I love Rodan and Fields. I started using it about a year and a half ago, and it is amazing!!!

I love the doctors, who are world famous now. Dr. Rodan and Dr. Fields still have active practices, even though they are like, multi billionaires now. They truly love what they do and they love helping women and men look their absolute best.

Their products have won awards, been in magazines like InStyle {click here} and Allure {click here}, been on countless TV shows and news programs. Yes, news programs, and like, the real news, not that fake ass crap. Check out the Forbes, yes, Forbes article here.

I personally use the Redefine regimen, the multi function eye cream, Intensive Renewing Serum, the Lip Serum, and Lash Boost. I can speak from experience that my skin lets me know when I have skipped a few days, or worse, a week! Gasp. My skin starts to feel and look duller and isn’t dewy like it is when I use my products. And yes, disclaimer, you do have to actually use the products for them to work.

I have been pinching my pennies cause I’m looking for a job y’all. Anyone want to hire me? I’m super fun to work with, promise. But I’ve been hearing so much on social media about the Active Hydration Bright Eye Complex that I finally broke down tonight and ordered it. Actually I ordered the package that comes with the Bright Eye Complex and the Lash Boost. It comes in the cutest package with an eyelash curler. The results for Lash Boost are amazing… and I cannot wait to try the Bright Eye Complex. These products work for real y’all!

Want to see some results? Here is Lash Boost followed by the Active Hydration.

Pretty amazing, don’t you think?

In my ‘Win it Wednesday’s’ I’m only giving away things I absolutely L.O.V.E. And this week you can get your hands on an Eye cream, the make up remover wipes, which are, like, totally amazing, and Acute Care, the only product where you can see results overnight. Yes, overnight. That is a package that would cost you about $300, and yes, you can get it here, for FREE. Free is like, one of my favorite words, you don’t want to miss this!

Comment here AND share this to your Facebook page to be entered to win.

Last weeks Kendra Scott went to Allison, and she’s pretty happy she won. You will be too if you get this sweet deal! If you would like to look at products or order now, you can click here to get your skincare on point.

xoxo

My 60 Days without Alcohol

I decided on August 24th that alcohol and I were no longer friends. It had done a number on myself and my relationships, and when someone said, “You, can’t stop drinking! That will never happen!” It pissed me off. I’m stubborn and hate being told I can’t do something. I can do anything I want to damnit! So I quit.

60 days later, I’m not going to tell  you it’s been easy. It hasn’t. I was using alcohol to not deal with a myriad of problems going on in my life. Some I created, some I didn’t. Most of them I had absolutely no control over, and my drinking had become daily.

Almost without thinking I would pop open a bottle. This use to occur when I got off of work, but then I quit working in October of 2016, so I had an abundance of time to do whatever I wanted. And apparently I wanted to drink.

Sunday brunch drinking turned into Monday day drinking. Why not? It’s not like I had anywhere to be. And since I was divorced, I had a week at a time to myself. Before I knew it I was drinking all the time. Sometimes I didn’t even really want to, but I’d think, meh, it’s there, why not?

Here’s another thing about me… well a couple of things. One, I’m an only child, and two, I’m never wrong. Or so I thought.

Everyone always comments how nice and sweet I am. That is… until you piss me off. I’ve been told by some of my best friends, who pissed me off, that my tongue is ruthless and cuts to the bone. This was a quality I knew I had and frankly, I liked it. Especially since I was never wrong. I felt like since I was speaking my truth, I could say anything I wanted. This fueled with lots and lots of drinking was a deadly combination. I alienated many a friend. My two best friends said they no longer recognized who I was as I drank more and thought more highly of myself than I ever had.

I thought I was invincible.

Turns out, I don’t possess that super hero quality. I only discovered this after losing my best friends and gaining legal issues. Hello DWI. I spiraled quickly in late 2016 and the first 8 months of 2017. Until that one person made the comment that changed everything. Telling me I couldn’t quit.

The hardest thing that has happened since quitting has been facing my fears without any numbing substance. I have many fears. Most are about things I can’t control and the unknown. I worry and worry, and worry about things that may or may not happen, and that fear was paralyzing.

I was also in a very unhealthy co-dependant relationship that I told myself I had to be in, because I could not face the fear of being alone. Not drinking allowed me to see just how destructive that relationship was, and I ended it.

And it was freeing. Absolutely freeing. I love being free. I forgot somewhere along the way that when I’m free, I’m happy. What a sobering slap in the face. Now, 63 days  in, I’m happier than I’ve been in over 20 years. Yep. 20 freaking years. That’s a long ass time.

Stopping drinking has taught me to look my fears straight on, and walk through them alone. I am no longer afraid. There are still problems and issues, but I’ve learned to not sweat the things I cannot control. And to not tell myself it would be horrible if ‘this’ or ‘that’ happens, because frankly, I don’t know. Maybe it would suck, maybe it wouldn’t. I won’t find out unless that said event actually occurs. I’ve learned in the last 63 days that the reality is often not what I thought it would be. Not at all. And I’ve realized I’m a pretty bad ass bitch. And I’m okay with that.

I don’t know if I’ll repair the relationships I’ve ruined, but I’m okay with that too. I’ve made it a year without the two people I cherished most in this world as far as friends go, and I’ve survived. Of course I miss them, but if they can’t forgive me that’s okay too. I’ve made some new kick ass friends and life goes on.

My outlook to the future is bright. It’s almost downright blinding. And I cannot wait to see what the next year brings. Challenges, ups, downs, life… I’ll take it. And I’ll survive. And I’ll be just fine. 

Win it Wednesday’s are Back!

Yes, every Wednesday until Christmas {which is only 8 weeks away, eek!} the Blue Sparrow blog will be giving away something amazing each week. This week, I am giving away a piece from Kendra Scott! Yes, that’s right, Kendra Scott! Jewel tones are huge this season, and who doesn’t love a little KS bling, am I right? So let’s get this season started off right with an amazing giveaway worth $110. That’s right. $110 smackers, for FREE. Just follow the rules below.

To Win you must…

  1. Leave a comment below telling me why you love Kendra Scott.
  2. Share this blog post on your Facebook page.
  3. Tag a friend who loves Kendra as much as you do.

Good Luck! Winner will be drawn next Wednesday, November 1st. You must have done all three things in order to be entered to win.

And here they are… The must have Darci stackable ring set in a size 7.

kendra-scott-darci-stackable-ring-set-in-jewel-tones_00_default_sm.jpg

To shop Kendra Scott, click here.

And if you live in Fort Worth check out the new Clearfork location. The store is gorgeous and the staff, lead by Emily Bailey, is amazing! They {or the University location} can take care of all your Christmas shopping needs. One stop shopping? Yes please!

Now, share to win!!!

And be sure to check back weekly to find out what the giveaway will be. I’ve got some amazing stuff to give out. Everything from an REI gift card to one of my favorite items from The Woodhouse Day Spa. Target and American Express gift cards and gift bundles from Young Living and Rodan + Fields. Prizes range from $25 to $400. And I can ship them anywhere in the world you may be, so keep checking in. I look forward to sharing great stories and great gifts.

 

xo,

The Blue Sparrow Blog

Excuse Me?

The one thing I cannot stand {being the stubborn person I am} is someone having the audacity to tell me I can’t do something. Excuse me? I can do whatever the hell I want too, and I will. Try me.

So when someone said to me that they doubted I could quit drinking, naturally, their reverse psychology worked. I was all, um… Of course I could, I just choose not too. I like alcohol, I don’t need it.

See, when I was 18 months old, I told my mother I wasn’t going to suck my fingers or use my blanket anymore.

I took my blanket and threw it in the trash can. We lived in Houston at the time. My mom ran and got the blanket out of the trash knowing her sweet {haha} baby girl would surely be wanting it soon.

That night I went to bed without my blanket. My mom watched me sleep. She said I would take the two fingers I sucked and hold them down by my side. Then my lips would start making the sucking motion in my sleep and my fingers would make their way to my lips. She said every time they so much as touched my lips I’d jerk my entire arm back down to my side.

I never sucked my fingers again, and I never ask for my blanket. Which killed my mom, who still has the blanket to this day.

So bring it on. I’ve decided to take all the money I normally spend on alcohol and going out and I’m going to use it to travel with, because I love to see the world. And I can see a lot more of it if I’m not spending $12/drink.

World… here I come.

And to the person who said that to me, just watch me.

Eight days in I feel great. The satisfaction alone of knowing I am proving someone wrong is worth it all by itself, and yes, there are other benefits. I’ll keep you posted on the journey.

xo

IVF

Scrolling through Facebook the other day I came across a post about a friend trying for a child through IVF (in vitro fertilization). 

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve heard of IVF. You probably know a friend or family member who has been through the process, but unless you have gone through it yourself, you cannot possibly understand the trama of it all. 

Instead of some wild night of sex you barely remember, you get a box of meds in the mail that cost anywhere from 4-10 grand depending on the protocol. 

You get to give yourself multiple shots for weeks and go in for blood draws every few days. 

You get to go to a doctors office and pray like hell the injections you are giving yourself that cost thousands of dollars are working. That your ovaries are producing up to 18 eggs instead of just one. 

Eggs that will require an IV and a retrieval. A retirieval where they put you under and stick a needle in your cervix poking the sac and extracting all the eggs 

You sit in the doctors office knowing your odds of conceiving. Looking around the room and wondering who will win the baby lotto. 

You wait. 

And wait. 

And wait. 

You wait for the nurse or doctor to call with the news 

How many eggs survived?

They grade them.

You hold your breath for day three when they tell you how many embryos “survived”.  

Depending on the outlook you go in on day three or five for the embryos to be transferred. 

Five day transfers typically have a better chance of survival. 

You go in again to the doctors office. At least you have made it this far. You try to nod encouragingly to those around you. You don’t have to speak. You know their pain. And their hope. 

You are told to have a full bladder, and then legs up, here goes nothing. 

They insert the embryos and you can watch on the monitor as they go in. 

Then you (or at least I did) pray like hell as they instruct you to hold your legs up for 20 minutes. 

After that, the doctor comes in, mine was wonderful and encouraging and said to remember I was PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise). 

Ten more days or so of more torture and you go in for a blood test.

Two more days of waiting. 

Yes? No? 

If you are lucky enough to hear yes you go back in two more days for another blood test to see if your PSA levels (pregnancy hormone) are rising. 

Sometimes they aren’t. And the journey ends. Just like that. 

If the levels are still rising, you are scheduled for a six week sonogram to find out if the embryo(s) have attached to the uterine wall, at which point you can hear a heartbeat. 

Sometimes the process ends here. I can’t tell you how many friends I had who made it this far in the journey only to hear devastating news. It’s heartbreaking. 

And for many, the process works. 

I can’t tell you how grateful I am for my doctor, Dr. Kaufman, who I credit in helping me become a mama! 

I wrote this post with the notion to write a post about my baby boy who turns six tomorrow, but as I started writing, it brought be back to the process that made me a mother. 

I am grateful for God. I am grateful for science. 

I’m not going to sit here and reassure you if you are trying to get pregnant to “just relax” and “it will happen when it’s supposed to happen.”

I hated that more than anything. 

I can just tell you this, I know the pain you are going through, and you are not alone. 

Visit http://www.resolve.org if you are struggling with infertility and looking for support and or resources. 

Xo

My {almost} year as a Stay at Home Mom

Until last September, I had always been a working mom. And I had a really flexible job, which was great, but I still worked summers, during Christmas and spring breaks… I never had weeks at a time off with my kids.

While this year has been incredibly tough, it has been a year of incredible growth. It has also been immensely rewarding. I have been reminded many times that tough times do not define our character they reveal it, and I have been reminded of my true strength and stamina.

I want to say this to stay at home moms… I’m jealous. I know there are a lot of us v. them when it comes to working moms v. stay at home moms. Some moms love staying at home. Some moms work because they have to and wish like hell they could be at home. Some moms love working and should feel no guilt for having a career. And some stay at home moms wish they worked. All of the above are completely normal.

When I was a new mom, until present day, when I compare myself to other moms I always give myself an ‘F’. I sometimes, and most unfortunately, by into the post on Facebook and Instagram. I can’t compare.

What I have learned though, is that as much as I don’t compare to those other moms, I am enough for my kids. Who think I am the best mom ever {because they are not on Facebook and Instagram and have no idea how I actually fail in comparison to everyone else}.

In fact, they usually say it to me daily.

“Mom, I love you, you are the best mom ever.”

And it’s usually for something like cooking turkey bacon for dinner, or some other completely insignificant event.

We are all enough.

Enjoy the little things.

Treasure each moment you can.

Be kind to each other.

Love Trumps hate.

Every single time.

And it takes a whole lot less energy to love than it does to hate.

Save that energy for something else. Like holding open a door for someone. Smiling at the person in line behind you at the grocery store, and giving an accepting nod to the mother looking mortified as her child throws a tantrum about getting on an airplane.

It takes a village.

A village of non assholes.

xoxo

PS, Drawing for the winner of a new special candle is tomorrow, don’t forget to comment on the last post to enter to win.

She’s (un)crafty Giveaway

Never in six billion years would I consider myself crafty, so no one was shocked more than myself when I decided to start making candles. 

I am candle obsessed though and had always wanted to make my own. 

The last crafty thing I attempted was making and selling sponge painted t shirt dresses at age eight with my neighbor. 

My neighbor and I’s most popular print was a watermelon. It was like Warhol, but not at all like Warhol. 

Her sister is an artist in Austin. Hi Stephanie! Stephanie Nance. Look her up. She is amazing, and probably rolled her eyes at her sister and I’s sponge dresses. 

Laura, our dresses were both fashion forward and amazing. Perhaps we should start making them again? 

Anyway… 

After trying my hand at welding last month, I thought, how hard could melting wax possibly be? 

Here went nothing. 



And now I introduce to you, the first scent by The Blue Sparrow Blog, Sage and Chamomile, otherwise known as Infinite Wisdom. 

I am giving one away here. Winner drawn on Wednesday. Simply comment below telling me your favorite scent to be entered to win! 

Xo

Design. Build. Adventure. 

I’ve heard there are three ways you can create new brain cells. One is to learn something new. I forgot the other two…

Anyway.

For years I had seen a friend from middle school’s post on his company, Design Build Adventure, and I had always been intrigued.

Here is an example…


I mean… aren’t you intrigued?

I signed up and packed my bags for the high desert of West Texas.

I can’t weld, but I was so excited to learn, and Captain Jack and his crew, Will and Parker, were excellent teachers.

The workshop consisted of consulting with two local artist, Nick and Maryam, who generously have donated part of their land to a playground. It’s called Eastside Playground and you must check it out when traveling through Marfa.

Nick and Maryam wanted a sign for the entrance and a table with benches for kids and parents to sit, play, and gather on.

We had two days to design, build, and make it happen.

The collaboration of the group was magical. Mystical. An experience I’ll never forget.

This is what we made.

Photo credit above to the amazing Nick Terry.

We also made this welcoming sign.


I left with a great sense of satisfaction, although I’m not exactly sure how I contributed other than a willingness to learn and an abundance of enthusiasm for the project.

Thank you Jack and your team, your amazing wife and kiddos, Terry and Maryam, and all who signed up for the class for making this an experience I’ll never forget!

Check out more about Design Build Adventure at http://www.designbuildadventure.com