Losing it All

Sometimes you have to lose everything to gain anything. In the past two years I lost a six figure income job, a fiance, and recently I have put my house on the market, lost my job waiting tables, got in a major car wreck, and broke my phone.

I had held it all together pretty well, but one day a couple of weeks ago I sat down and started bawling. I had a major fight with my parents and I had decided I didn’t care if I was homeless, that whatever happened to me I could handle it.

“You can’t be serious,” a friend had said to me.

“Oh yes I am,” I replied. “I’ve already looked into shelters. I can move into the Union Gospel Mission and they allow children up to the age of 12, which gives me two and a half years to figure it out.”

My friend looked speechless.

It was at the moment of surrendering everything that things began to look up.

The easiest thing was replacing my phone. Next I got my car situation figured out and got a new car. Well, new to me. I’m still waiting to sell my house, but I have an apartment to move into, and I move September 11th. I finished real estate school and I take my test this week. I also got a job working for the real estate agent who is selling my house. I am going to be her assistant, and since she doesn’t work with buyers, she is giving me all the people who are referred to her as such. I also got a job at H&G Supply that I start on Wednesday.

I also started writing a book. Something that was in me for a long time, but I finally took the plunge.

Sometimes surrendering to your higher power and being willing to do absolutely anything is what it takes. It’s what it took for me and instantly things began falling into place.

I’ve been seeing the most adorable man who is 10 years younger than I am and a total freak about commitment, which is okay with me because I haven’t the faintest idea what I want. I’ve been a serial dater the last year or so, but there was just something different about this one.

For one, he has a good job. He’s a counselor for troubled youth, and that just makes my heart melt. He truly wants to make a difference in the world, something that resonates with me.

And he has a good head on his shoulders, which is also something new for me. Normally I date musicians who like the smell of cocaine a little too much.

He challenges me, which is something I also haven’t had in any of my recent relationships, not that we are calling this a relationship, but I did get the counselor to admit we are dating. Ha! I’m not letting him take that back either.

After being through pure hell the past two years, things are on the up and up. And something that I have gained is gratitude. I am absolutely, 100 percent grateful for everything I have in my life. I make gratitude list and almost daily try to think of what I can do to get out of my head and help someone else. This is something that was recommended to be for almost a year, but I naturally fight things that would benefit me and this was no exception.

If you are going through a rough patch, this is my advice… Realize this is a season, and this too shall pass. Happiness nor sadness last forever, it’s just not possible. Be grateful for what you have. Write it down. If you don’t think you have anything to be grateful for here are some things you might be overlooking…

Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have enough food to eat? Do you have clothing? If the answer to these questions is ‘yes’ you have something to be grateful for. Get out of your head. Smile at those around you. Figure out a way to serve others. It will get you out of your head space and make you feel better. If it doesn’t work right away keep doing it. It took me a hot minute, or six months, but it finally worked. And I’m not looking back.

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