My Brag Book

One of my ex’s was rummaging through my stuff {probably looking for valuables to steal, because, let me tell you, I know how to pick ’em} and came across one of my photo albums and started thumbing through it.

Here is the conversation that transpired between us…

“Whoa, there are a lot of famous people in here.”

“Yeah.”

“How did you meet so many famous people?”

“I dunno. I just walk up to famous people and start talking to them.” Then I glance over his shoulder to see who he is referring to. “Ohhh… I met those people while interning for the Detroit Free Press in 2004. I was covering the Republican National Convention for them.” {You can read about that here}

“Who is the most famous person you have ever met?”

“I dunno. I guess it depends who you consider famous.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… in that book it’s probably Larry King. Or Anderson Cooper, he’s really short, look… I think I’m taller than he is. Tim Russert was my favorite. He called me ‘little red’ all week and was so nice! But I also got to attend Wednesday Night Live that week hosted by Dick and Lynn Chaney, and the cast of Saturday Night Live. Lorne Michaels is cool! I actually bumped into him later that week at the Broadway show Wicked and he remembered me and stopped to talk to me before I went to the restroom. Then he said he was sorry for taking up my time… I mean, seriously?! I didn’t even think to beg him for a job… biggest lost opportunity ever… Oh, and I had to interview Laura Bush that week too.”

“Damn, who else have you met?”

I scrunch my forehead and try to remember names.

“Karl Rove, Rudy Giuliani, The Cure. I partied with them until four in the morning… Meg Ryan… Vanilla Ice,” I trailed off lost in thought.

{you can read about my night with The Cure here, and Vanilla Ice and more Meg Ryan here and Karl Rove here}

“How’d you meet Meg Ryan?”

“Flattery. I was eating at The Dutch, or Dutchman, or something like that in New York City and she was sitting behind us. I ask the waiter if that was, and before I could say Meg Ryan, he cut me off and said NO! And that she did NOT want to be bothered and she hated it when people approach her. And since my favorite thing in the world is people telling me I can’t do something, I got up and walked over… I apologized profusely for interrupting her dinner, then immediately followed with, it’s just that my table and I are discussing whether or not you are Meg Ryan and I said, impossible, she’s way too young to be Meg Ryan. That guy {who was clearly her son} is probably her date. She laughed and grabbed my arm, and said that was just the sweetest thing. She looked over to my table and waved, and put her hand over her heart and mouthed ‘thank you.’ Then she introduced me to her son and talked to me about the new exhibit at the Met.”

See… it’s just like the column is US Weekly… Stars… They’re just like us! Well no shit. If you ever run into one it’s just knowing what to say. Or acting like you have absolutely no idea who they are, or actually having no idea who they are, like When I told Roger O’Donnell, keyboardist for The Cure, that it was so cute he dressed up like The Cure to go see The Cure. I really didn’t have a clue. It’s not like they ever show the keyboardist on the big screens when you are at a concert. Now… when the drummer walked in five minutes later, my jaw totally hit the floor.

And of course, the right kind of flattery does get you everywhere. Even partying with rockstars until 4 a.m.

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