The Boyfriend

I had a crush on Shane Williams in college. He was a skater, and I use to see him rolling up to our classes and thought…  Now, that is a cutie. We were both criminal justice (CJ) majors and in several of the same classes (although he doesn’t remember that).

In the summer of 2000 we got to go spend three weeks in London for a class, and on the weekends we got to travel. My friend and fellow CJ major was making all our travel plans and reservations and ask me if I would mind rooming with Shane. “Um, no. That’s fine,” I replied. Trying to remain cool. Inside I was jumping up and down and thinking, SCORE!!!

I got to know Shane really well during our travel time. And I remember thinking, gosh, not only is he cute, but he’s so nice. To everyone. So helpful. If you needed a bag carried, someone to buy you a soda, or someone to tell you to relax, that that noise you just heard was NOT a bomb going off in the Paris subway, Shane was your guy. Turns out he was wrong about that, but at least he kept us all calm.

Here are a couple of pictures.

I’d listen to him call and talk to his girlfriend every night and I remember thinking… Damn. That girl is lucky.

The day we got back from London, a few of us made plans to go out that evening. Shane said he was too tired, and ended up going home and going to bed. I ended up going out with friends that had not been on the trip with us. That night, I ended up kissing the guy that would become my husband. And Shane and I didn’t speak after we got back. I was graduating and he and my other friends still had another semester to go. We eventually found each other on Facebook, and occasionally someone from our London group would post a picture from our trip and we would all comment and say what a great trip it was and how we should all get together.

Four days after I filed for divorce one of those pictures was posted. We all start talking about “the best trip of our lives” and how we wish we could all get together. Shane messaged me and said something along the lines of, “Your family looks great. Glad to see you are doing well.” To which I just unload on an old friend.

Turns out, good guy that he is, he was taking time off work to take care of his grandmother that wasn’t doing well and needed constant care. I was about to go through a divorce. We didn’t have a lot of time to see each other, but we did text and talk a lot. And I remembered why I had such a crush on him.

Not only is he now my boyfriend, he is my fiance! I’m so happy and so in love with him. It’s so crazy how things work out. I don’t think in a million years I would have ever seen that coming.

Now, I struggle with the guilt of being happy. It’s something I will probably have to work on for a long time. I often think, should I have stayed in my marriage even though it wasn’t working? Did I destroy my kids? Are they going to hate me when they get older? Am I selfish for doing this? But that is another blog post. I’ll get to that. For now, I’m just going to try and enjoy the moment.

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