Whole 30 – week 1

Perhaps it wasn’t the greatest of ideas to start the Whole 30 on a Friday, on a holiday weekend, but I wanted to start the Whole 30 on the first day of the month. So I did. To those of you who are not familiar with the Whole 30, it is a Paleo diet plan where you eliminate everything I like to eat and drink. No alcohol. No Dairy. No Grains. No Legumes. This was not going to bode well for my ‘taco and tequila’ diet that I have maintained for many years.

Why on earth would someone like me subject myself to this? Because thanks to many years of bingeing and starving, I have completely screwed my metabolism over. My emotional highs and lows over the past few years haven’t helped. I got divorced. I fell in love. I got engaged. I’m turning 40 this year. I emotionally ate and didn’t work out and gained 30 pounds. I have no energy and I’m not looking so hot, so I thought… What the hell. I’ll give it a shot.{also, apparently the diet makes me want to be a rapper}.

And you know things must be bad for me to give up everything I love.

So I immediately started researching how I could get around the ‘no drinking’ thing. I found that The Whole 30 was just like being pregnant…  No one will tell you it is okay to drink. However, according to a Paleo magazine, you can have alcohol in very small quantities {no not on the Whole 30, but after those 30 days} and champagne was on the approved list. This fact, made me happy. Estatic.With this piece of information, I commited to my trainer and myself that I would do it. And document my journey for all.

The day before I went grocery shopping and posted this picture.

The great thing about the Whole 30 is that there are several foods that I love on the diet. Number one is bacon. Number two is potatoes. And rounding out the top three, avocados. I thought… I’ll survive on bacon and potatoes and avocados. I got this. My chiropractor even told me something I could eat at Chipotle. A bowl with grilled veggies, chicken, mild salsa {pico}, guacamole, and lettuce.

Day 1: Not so bad. I still probably had enough caffeine in me from the day before and I made it through the day eating chicken and veggies and everything was delicious.

I would like to note I also decided to start this on a weekend where I didn’t have my children. I had read stories about ‘detoxing’ and figured my body was going to be exhausted. It was.

Days 2 -4: I spent the weekend acting worse than a toddler having a non-stop tantrum. I was full. I was starving. I was fine. I was exhausted. I slept the majority of the three-day weekend, and I would then usually wake up, forage for something I could eat, and then go back to bed.

I am sure most of the population doesn’t experience these kind of withdrawals, but my body lives on sugar and beans and tortillas and cheese. And I had no idea how reliant I was on ‘fake’ sugar. I use it in everything. I really really miss my fake sugar and caffeine in the morning{s}.

Day 5: I got up and began my ‘new’ normal routine. I poured a big glass or iced tea, and drank it quickly. Hoping it would give me some energy. About 10 mintues later I got sick. And I’m not going to describe it, but it was bad, complete with breaking out in a cold sweat, and thinking I might die.

Day 6: I woke up and didn’t feel like death, and was really excited. I got on the treadmill for a couple of miles and drank a couple of glasses of tea. A few hours later, I’m nibbling on approved beef jerkey and wondering if I’ll ever have energy again.

Sounds fun huh? My stomach does feel flatter {proabably from the puking and almost dying yesterday morning} and according to everything I’ve read, week three is ‘when the magic happens’ So… I’m suffering through and will report back. Until then, I’ll be daydreaming about tacos and cake and tequila.

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