Vanilla Ice and I are super tight.

I know this will come as a shock… but, I’m slightly dramatic. I was in theater in high school and prided myself on being a ‘drama queen.’ Some time after college I realized drama was not as fun as it was as a teen. I loved acting, and then when the ‘Real World’ came out, being on that show was a life time goal. First season in New York? You mean, Eric, Julie, Becky, Norman, Heather, Andre and Kevin? And no, I did not have to google that. My dream was shattered when I turned 28, as they would no longer cast anyone over 27. So basically I failed at life. I guess that is still a bit dramatic…

That being said, I have a thing for all things celebrity. It doesn’t matter if you are the local news anchor or Meryl Streep, I will have the same amount of excitement if I see you. Mainly because I feel I know you. I mean, I’ve read US Weekly for years now, so I feel like we are all friends. I’ve seen you carrying your groceries… ‘Stars are just like Us!’ We both put gas in our cars! Even though I see you on TV! That’s just crazy!!

One time in the Las Vegas airport, I ran down a group of ‘Bachelorette’ contestants just to say, “Aren’t y’all on the Bachelorette? I’m from Fort Worth, aren’t like, a bunch of y’all from Dallas?” I might have been drinking on the plane. Maybe. Turns out they were. And they were going to a ‘Bachelorette’ reunion. I think I said something like, ‘Neat, have fun. Guess I’ll go find my bag.’ Or something really cool like that.

I went up to Meg Ryan while she was eating dinner in New York. I know, I know… I was that person. But, we were having an argument at my table as to if it was actually her or not. Half the table thought it was, so naturally I had to find out. And, knowing how much celebrities, especially real ones, hate to be approached, especially when they are eating dinner with their high-school-age son… So I walked over and simply said, “I am so sorry to bother you, but I was just hoping you could settle an argument my table is having. Some of us thought you might be Meg Ryan, but I said, no, that woman is way too young to be her.” She busted out one of those Meg Ryan smiles {slightly different these days thanks to facial fillers} and we talked for a bit, she introduced me to her son and thanked me for the compliment, ask me about my trip… she was really nice. Flattery does get you everywhere.

So, about Vanilla Ice… My whole family was flying to Montana for vacation. It was 2004, and as we boarded the plane in DFW, I noticed someone was in my seat. My then husband was in front of me and was politely telling Ice he was in my seat. Turns out he was supposed to be on the aisle seat across from me. We sit down, my ex having no clue who he had just spoken to, and I quietly lean over and say… “Um, that is Mr. Ice. Mr. Vanilla Ice.” The ex is all, ‘Um, no it’s not’ and we go back and forth. I, naturally, start looking at his tattoos and writing them down so I can  verify when we get off the plane because said ex did not want me ’embarrassing myself’ by simply asking Mr. Ice a question. Finally, Vanilla falls asleep, AND BONUS, he was reading his mail. Awesome. I basically try a Matrix move balancing myself on my seat and air planking over his seat to see who it was addressed too. It totally said Robbie Van Winkle! Robbie too, not Robert. At this point I am slightly excited and lose my balance, almost slamming my head into Mr. Ice’s private parts. He never woke up. We never spoke. But when we were all getting off the airplane a bunch of guys started humming his big hit. And he turned around and gave a ‘wus up’ nod. {The nod also indicated that, much like when I tell someone I sell propane, and they say, ‘and propane accessories?’ Mr. Ice, looked like this was not the first time someone had busted out singing his one hit to him. Ice, I get you. I know how you feel man.} So that’s my Vanilla Ice story. I know, anticlimactic. Welcome to my life! What can I tell you, I’m a drama queen.

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